This year has not gone as I expected so far. I lost Nyx in December. I gained Intuition at the end of January. I have found myself neck deep in a situation of most uncomfortable potions as related to my volunteer consulting/focus group video game situation. It’s left me off balance. I had a few other things that I planned to be working on by this time at this year. Did I mention that I not only busted the tire of my car my car failed inspection and we’ve spent days figuring out a cheaper solution to replace the stupid broken fog light.
I am a very tired person these days. Raising a puppy is always harder then I remember. Dealing with lifes situations can drain an enormous amount of energy. How often I have wanted to just throw things to the side and run off into the sunset. Some of it I could but then I’d have to leave with my own guilt and guilt has a bitter taste.
Along the way, I’ve lost a bit of my ability to write. I went from daily writings, sometimes I was unable to sleep for all of the things I needed to say, to having nothing to say. Some of it is overload and some of it is illness. On the back of everything else I trotted around a deep chest and head cold for almost two months. I am only still recovering from it. I have learned that when I am ill me ability to be creative starts to wither.
But, spring is coming. Intuition nears his 4th month. A little less pee a little more dog like behavior. It is time to look at planting. I’m about to head to the store and get set up with my starter pots for this seasons goals.
Emotional turmoil is a fascinating thing. It is real but intangible. I know why the last two months have been such a struggle but when I lay it out there is a lack of substance that leaves me frustrated. Still, how one feels about something is real. Feelings may be out of fad but fortunately, I have never been fashionable.