On Saturday, my husband sat down and put up the new web server for my blog. It was an all day event. Having decided to host several different media ventures, I needed a multi-site setup which WordPress supports. However, the tools needed for multi-site setups are not as easy to get. There was a lot of trial and error through the day as well as a frustrated husband.
While he did the heavy lifting I did some background work. I set up a tumblr account for my upcoming drawing adventure. I looked up themes. I made him tea and cookies.
When I first made Downtime Hours it was just to have a personal blog that I could do more with. Its taken two years to get to that more phase. My blogging at Low Sec Lifestyle has taken over most of my internet presence. While sucessful enough for what it is, it is a very limited platform. I like to rant. I like to write about gardening. I want to start discussing raw feeding again and document my travels. And I want to draw.
I’ve always wanted to be an artist both in drawing and writing. I was ‘talented’ as a child when it came to drawing. If left to my own devices, I was very good at replicating images. I was broken of that as I got older and told it was not true artwork. Over the years and a succession of art teachers beat down my artistic behaviors as lazy (I got into smudging my pencil for definition) or incorrect (how I created any scene). Sculpting gave me more freedom but it is bulky and messy and my pets have a tendency to destroy my projects. In college, I tried art again only to have my teacher tell me that I had talent so she was going to grade me harsher then the rest of the class.
Running away from situations like that instead of taking them as a challenge has always been my thing. I am not competitive. If you make a situation competitive for me, I probably want to leave. It zaps my motivation. Now, almost twenty years after my last art class, I understand that they were trying to challenge and push me. Their methods and my overly sensitive introverted non-competitive nature just did not clash. I didn’t embrace things and fight for what they expected so instead I failed.
Now, I’m in a place where I’d like to do something more with my art. I’d like to try my hand at drawing without the rules and fetters that drove me away from it during my student days. I’ve learned that I have my methods of doing things and if left alone those methods work. I’ve stopped trying to push myself into the right molds and the right way of doing things and now I’m finally seeing some progress. I guess that is maturity. I could have used it ten years ago.
It is not that I won’t run. It is that I can not stand up to things and say, “No” instead. No is a very, very hard word to master. It isn’t casual. To say no to a teacher means failing the class and finding your own path to success. To say no to the right way means that whatever you may accomplish will always be wrong.
But, when it comes to art I’ve always wondered why we are so stuck in the right way to do things. Is it just a hand me down from long ago when artists took apprentice ships and creating art was such a resource and time intensive task that we had to be very particular?
The rise of the web comic is an interesting point. The comics themselves are not about art and some are. There are comics that are as complex as a printed comic book and others that are doodles that suck you in with their thoughts.
Maybe I have just reached that point. The maturity thing again. Earlier in December I decided I wanted to crochet. It was something I tried as a child to limited success. I never got anywhere. My grandmother was a brilliant crochet master. I hated a lot of what she made but I was amazed that she could make it.
I got hook, yarn, thread, and turned on youtube. Two days later I produced my first scarf. A week later my second. I advanced from there and I’ve produced half a dozen things in a month. My stitches are even and tight and I seem not to have much in the way of mistakes. I have no idea where this skill came from.
I’m thinking of doing something with it. But, like many projects they will not start to take root until the late spring when my CSM obligations are finished and I can give the new ventures the time that they deserve.